Welcome Back

Hi Bloggers, readers.

Its been more than two years since I have written any entries. Most of you who know me, have heard my travel stories since. Why have I not written? … Well I have been through so many transformations in two years, being at times so active, that I seldomly devoted time to write and reflect on some of those transformations. I must admit its has been a shame, for this blog can immensely stimulate the act of self-reflection and the act of deepening into it. So here I am writing again!!And writing for one special reason:  this year has been different than the last two. Over the last month I have had some inner conflicts accepting the stillness surrounding my work.

Before I go further, for those who don't know, my second year traveling back to Brazil was filled with art, full living and discovery. When I arrived Natal December 2011,  I immediately connected with one of the neighbors who happened to be a street performer clown/juggler. We hit it up and quickly  formed a clown duo performing in the local municipal buses. We had a great vibe together as a duo, and we quickly found each other's characters in complement. To make it short after a month or so in Natal, we took the road and left for Bahia for Circus convention where I learnt some of the trade and art in different workshops. We continued together past Carnival travelling through some small some bigger towns performing in squares, carnival events and parties. I lived the dream of traveling and making art all while making enough cash to keep going to the next town.

 Sebastian and I in Jacobina, a gold royalty rich town where we performed in it's streets.

Unfortunetely early March  arrived and because of my tourist visa restrictions and having had my passport stolen I had to return to the US.
Being back in the US I performed extensively throughout the spring, summer and fall in the streets of Buffalo street. I even dared for some time to perform solo as a clown, but quickly found american crowds are less likely to open up to a clown. So for the extent of a month or two I toyed around clowning with music at the cost of exhausting myself after a couple of hours of clowing/accordion playing. To my sadness in the end I realized I made much more cash performing without the clown act, and financially had to fall back to playing only. It wasnt that I wasnt funny... People just didnt connect the association of clown with cash basket. It didnt bother me, but at times I did miss some of my clowing around with the kids walking in front of the Buffalo Zoo.

Two super sweet admirers James and Ahslyn who asked to pose with me!

So sum it up,  From spring 2011 to fall 2012 I have lived living off the humble earnings form my music and art. An unbelievable experience, a gift  from this universe. For these two years it seemed everything I wished and asked for myself would somehow materialize!!! I am so grateful to everyone who has and supports me. Thank you Universe!

Well this year, arriving in Natal without Sebastian (my Argentinian clown partner now in Ecuador) has been felt. I have found myself unable to perform in the streets of Natal. It is much harder to make good money working the street art in solo acts. Aside from the financial limitations on solo street performing here, it seems the universe has been indicating and pushing me to perform in the night life with other musicians. One of the reasons being that I have felt much improvement in my technique and music spontaniety since I have started performing in the streets. So in order to deepen and continue my musical growth for the last month, I have take the opportunity to more seriously learn new tunes. some technically more challenging, and some in different styles. Most notably lately I have been studying Noca do accordeon, who plays Quasi Chorros in a somewhat close french articulation. Check the audio below!:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJoiJ1IdHlU

Even though I have been experiencing great satisfaction deepening my repertoire and improving my playing with the precious time the Universe gives us, I have to admit that this year's trip to Brazil does not compare to last year's. And of course there is no reason why it should.  After all I was travelling clowing and playing accordion town to town. But as Krishnamurti once wrote or said, Comparisons can be very self destructive.
I have been doing lots of thinking lately, questioning myself, this return to Brazil, wondering why I am not on the road if I indeed am feeling so still. The fact is that it is too easy to conclude something is wrong or odd if you are not experiencing movement. And it so because we often wrongly associate movement with progress. But as a wonderful friend pointed out a few nights ago sitting by the ocean you cant deny and reject what the universe gives you. When stillness surrounds you, you must embrace it, take advantage of it, and simply wait. When it points in a direction, you will know. It doesnt mean you should stay passive, remain active, but without expectations and simply be in the present and enjoy it!!!!!
So far any opportunities to perform have been locally here in Natal. Nothing has manifested letting me know I should take up the road, even though it has been calling me. But it only has because of the huge insecurity I have been feeling surrounded by stillness in opposition to all the moving and bussling of the last two years.

So in good news! I just landed myself a gig with a wonderful percussionist. On february 23rd I will perform an arragement of cumbias, chorro's, gipsy and french tunes!!! So yay to transforming myself from the street performer to the night artist here in Brazil where almost everyone could be a profesional musician!!!! Without a doubt the transition can appear slow, if not static at times, but I am transforming and am loving it. Thank you all who have been supporting me!

To conclude, I would like to show you a picture of the moment which  inspired me to write again. In truth, I was by the beach  sitting worried thinking of the stillness surrounding me when I noticed this fruit being broken down by these amazing ants. I was instantly amazed by the fact that these ants were working extremely fast to break down all the food they could get from the fruit laying on the beach. It dawned on me that the tide was low and dry, and that the ants having lived there for so many many generations and years, \ were aware of the tight time capsule which was given to them to work the food. For soon enough the tide would rise and take the fruit away.

Do you understand? think of it..,.

Just like in Ying and Yang, when the tide is full, to these ants it means that time is directing them to wait, rest, gather themselves for future movement, stay In. when the tide is low and dry, its time to go outward and bring in.
What does that mean? Dont despair when time seems to be still or when you arent moving, it only means you must take advantage of it and recenter yourself. Be still and simply wait until the tide empties out again! Contemplate and enjoy the calmness!!!

I have so much more to say and write, especially spiritually with some ceremonies I took part in. But that will have to be written in the next blog!!!

Luz Paz Amor!
I miss all my friends! And I would like to thank you once again all for the support you have given me over the many years!